Practicality or Passion?

Practicality or passion? This is the most disturbing question any graduating millenial tries to answer.
Ideally, you finish school and earn money but we get tormented between choosing a job that pays the bills and pursuing a job we like so that we never have to work a day in our life.

Expectedly, we need to choose a job that can pay our bills. I am not saying that we are just born to pay this and that but in reality, even the most luxurious life you can think of involves the exchange of money for goods. 
Should you wish to travel, you pay the plane ticket, you buy your food, you pay hotels and all. Should you opt to buy a car, you purchase using money. Though the concept of “bills” means relatively to some, I have thought that maybe we can make our own bill classification into a positive bill and a negative bill.

Do not be confused. This idea stemmed from my personal experience and cannot be found in books. But really, when a bill is something mandatory, like electricity bills, we find it an obligation—now that is the negative bill. However, if the bill is something we chose to have, like that trip to Venice, we tag it as living the life we want—that’s the positive bill right there.

Do you see how our life is formed by our mindset? 

People tell you, you need to have a job at once but if you think you are not ready, then don’t apply yet. Go enjoy the summer!

If people tell you that you need to be more practical and choose the higher paying job over the job that you like, well… choose the job you want because eventually, you get performance bonus and the salary that you deserve.

You see, if you love what you do, you excel in it. Nonetheless, if the opportunity for your passiion is not there yet, then here is a win-win choice you could try for yourself: so, the answer to the question is this: look for a day job that can pay all the bills and put saving in your bank account but still find time doing things you want.

As a young professional back in 2011, I was lucky enough to have landed a first job that pays well. I was paid per hour and I only work for 4 days a week, 3-6 hours a day. But the thing is, I earn twice as much as my counterparts. Lucky enough, yes. Nevertheless, I realized that it is not really the job I wanted. Though I was able to help other people and I enjoyed my collegues’company, I couldn’t find a sense of fulfilment.
So, what did I do? I left and became almost unemployed for two years. I practiced freelance writing. Though I was earning a relatively small amount, I felt happy whenever I get to publish pieces. But here’s the rub: my freelance job almost couldn’t pay the bills.

So, when I got back to my senses,  I went back to the industry and got lucky enough to land a day job. Yes, this job is something I leave at the office and gives me my weekends and evenings off. But since I was able to establish a writing gig for myself, I opted to continue doing it.

I did not want to stop my passion (which is writing) so I struggled to land writing gigs again. And right now, whenever I have time, I do SEO and I contribute to an online news site.

Am I happy? Definitely better than in 2013 when I thought I was not achieving anything. Right now, I feel fulfilled that I get to do what I want (writing) while being able to do what I should (pay the bills).

“Choose a job you want and you will never have to work a day in your life”

I suggest not to take this literally. It will stress you out. Whether or not you pick what you love or you choose to do what you can, you’ll work either way. The difference would be the amount of satisfaction you give yourself.

You may actually opt to make your passion your job but if it earns too little, do not worry. Do not rush. It will get bigger soon. Just do not give up. Most importantly, do not listen to people who give deadlines to your success.

It is yours. Own it!


We get to go where we are supposed to at our own pace, remember that.
It took me 6 years after graduating college before I got my dream job. 

Well, my dream job is actually my “sideline job” but that does not matter. I learned that the thing I was stressing about three years ago is meaningless today.

If I had known I would become an official writer, I wouldn’t have had sulked in one corner of my house thinking I was putting my talent to waste.

Passion or practicality? Both.

Fast success or slow success? That is up to you. Fast. Slow. Does not matter. If you could go fast, do it. If you are scared, at least take little steps. Taking one step is still better than not moving at all.

Ultimately, fulfill your role but still pay yourself when you have time. If the job steals your personal space, leave.

There are tons of job posts out there. Find your fit. Sometimes, it will take a few days, a week, months or a couple of years. That’s OK. Look for what you want and all the waiting will be worth it.

A spinster’s letter for an expected child

Dear my supposed baby,

It’s your supposed mom. Hello. I write in loathe that probably I will never get to meet you and officially be a mother.

Not that you are a miscarriage or anything, but because at this point, I feel strongly that I would probably never fall in love so much again. So much that I would consider resurrecting my belief in real marriage, nor would I ever meet a man that could be your supposed dad.

No, supposed mommy does not sleep around. It’s not what she does, supposed sweetheart. She would like to marry for love and not for convenience. For it, I am sorry, supposed baby, that you would probably never exist.

I would love to be a mother, too. Feel the nausea of morning sickness, the frustration of food cravings in the wee hours of the night, the stress of not wanting to smell nor to see people just because I don’t want to, and squirm in pain of contraction. Add to that, that I want to feel the immense torture of labor. However, my supposed child, supposed mommy got her heart broken a million times that she does not want you to be broken, too.

But if ever you would come, and I still so hope you would, even with slightest twist in my diminishing faith, I would be ecstatic and I would name you the name I had thought of years ago.

But supposed baby, I would want a family for you. The usual mom plus dad equals baby equation and if circumstances turn out otherwise, know supposed mommy fell hard in love with your supposed daddy but he chose to flee from the man he ought to have become.

For now, supposed little one, just hang in there. If we never get to meet, please don’t take it against me. For if I would raise you, I would want you to love and not just to please yourself.

But if in all oddities you do have a power or a say to this, please, please, find your way into my tummy.

Love,

Your supposed mom

An open letter to the love of my life

Dear You,

I know that this message is open for a thousand pair of eyes but I am certain that it will lay on the right vision of the person to whom this is written for: you. That even I name you not, my words will speak directly to you.

You.
The one I speak with all day.
You.
The one I am intimate any minute of the night:
You I dream with;
You I talk to;
You I look at the moon and stars with;
You who wish I was there;
You who wish I was OK;
You who shun the thunder;
That kind of intimacy where our souls mend our broken pieces brought by miles between us and the labels we no longer require.

I never had the courage to say things when you are with me but on the day that I first saw your photograph, it curved a smile on my lips and I started to be curious and to wonder on every minute detail about you: how your voice sounds, how you walk, how you smell, and what could your favorite basketball team be.

Others may say that it was spark, I say that it was meant to be.

My thought never raced that fast about anyone ever and when they said that people meet people for a purpose, I had a thought — actually hope — of what it could be.

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I suddenly felt comfortable talking to you like everything you say is interesting. And at times when you are sick or out of reach, worry touches my thoughts. I worry not because I have the right to be but because I just know that I care about you. A lot.

Worrying is not a right. It is an emotion.

Fast track to that December when I realized you are the one, and from then until now you are everything that is wonderful in my world.

You do not know what you do to me, but you are that person who can make or break me, inspire or discourage me, keep me hanging without asking questions, and subversively say yes to whatever you opt to.

You impress me in ways you can never understand: your intelligence, your jokes, simply your existence. Know that no matter how much I try and compare, no one can ever be close to you. At least in my own standards of perfect affection and epitome of great love.

You are the eligible bachelor and you know I don’t lie about commendations for I never want to tarnish my taste. And in that praise covers my inner message that I did not choose you. Because love is never chosen, it is just felt. 

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And I felt happier with you. Any problem seems less of a problem when you laugh about them. You are everything that makes my world happier and I don’t know how to be without you anymore.

I did not choose you. I just felt you and I just wanted you.

So when people ask why you, honestly, I don’t know. It’s just you. I just love you. No reasons. It just is.

You are my eligible bachelor and in that title goes the subtle plea that I be your represent.

Remember that as I was,

I always will be,

Yours

26 on the 26th

It is going to be once in a lifetime that I am as old as my birth date, it may sound cheesy but there is a lot to be thankful for.

When I was 13, I made a bucket list of what I should have accomplished by 25 and hey I’m old but I’d like to say 25 is not the peak yet, rather, a beginning of adulting.

I have not accomplished some of my goals for I had been through rough times two years ago. Anxiety attacks here and there but hey no one is perfect.

I still feel like I have not amounted to anything yet but I am definitely not nothing.

To people reading this post and commenting so what? Yeah, so, why are you reading in the first place? LOL.

Anyway, who cares? People have different measurement of success. I bet somewhere people wish to be me like how they wish they were you. So my bucket list has gotten dust already but here we go:

1. I have finished college. As well as a Masters Degree and yeah, currently in the look out for a university for a PhD. Why? Because why not? As my friend said, PhD at 26? Who cares? Bam! A mom at 26? Who cares? Whoopsie. LOL.

2. No, I did not marry at 25 and will not marry this year but I fell in love deeply and is loved deeply as well (Insert a huge “awwww” here). Still single not willing to mingle. Let’s say I’m kind of, reserved. Pak ganern!

3.  No, I have not composed a song but I sang a couple. In front of people. I sing at videokes now.

4. I haven’t published a book but I landed a stint at freelance journalism. Hey CrowdH News 🙂 You are awesome!

5. I haven’t been to MTV VJ Hunt, one of the reasons I took Mass Communication, but I host events and that’s kind of like almost the same thing.

6. No I haven’t been to Europe but I am planning to book a trip Asian first.

7. Yup, I have read tons of books and there are still a lot in my bag I haven’t opened yet since 2011.

8. I still haven’t gotten enough confidence in myself yet but I am getting there.

9. Finally! I got to finally maintain a blog, yey! And it will soon be profitable, too.

10. I realized that since life won’t give me apples, I will plant my own trees. But the main question that remains is… When will I cut my hair?

When?

Never.

Sa mga nagmahal, nagtiwala, hindi nakalimot, never nang-iwan, apir! I love you.

Sa mga nagback stab, nainggit, nainsecure (meron gang kaiinsecurean?), nagselos, nagalit dahil sobrang ganda ko (char!), pasensya na po. I am not a tease. I’m just a reminder of what you will never become. Charrrr!!!!

Mas malaking I love you at thank you sa inyo. Because of your criticisms I pushed for the better version of me.

Like what I used to say, I don’t believe in being the best. I believe in being better. I am not gonna say more, baka iplagiarize mo pa e.

God, thank you.
Mom and dad, perfect genes. 🙂
Siblings, malalaki na kayo kaya nyo na yang mga assignment nyo.
Gwapings, ayiii ampogi mo po haha

I hope this turns out great.
I hope for more years to come.
Tara, kain. 🙂