I am In love with a Woman

If there is one girl I admire who I never knew, that would be Audrey Hepburn. Yes, she is like the epitome of beauty and who wouldn’t want to be like her?

Happy girls are the prettiest, she said–and now you know why my blog is named as such. Because if you are happy, you become good, and good people reciprocate kindness. But we know how our brains play tricks on us. It keeps on reminding us different kinds of pain–pain we would willingly avoid. But that is how we need to move on. We have to be reminded of the sad things all the time.

All. The. Freaking. Time.

And this is what I will tell you: That is ok. It is ok to cry. It is ok not to be happy. But you need to help yourself back up. How? Trick your brain.

When it tells you that you need to cry over what happened to you yesterday, tell it to stop talking to you. I do that. Once in a while, my brain seems to work against me that it tells me a lot of awful things and why I should hate myself. But then I decided I need to decide. And I decided I wanted to move on. So, when my brain tells me that I will never be good enough or that I should still be hurting over what people have done, I tell this to my brain: that is over. Just like High School.

And it works. All. The. Freaking. Time.

The thing is sometimes, you need to decide where you want to go.

You see, it is just more than the looks that I get to admire. It was also about how smart and sophisticated Hepburn was. And what I can say is aside from idolising my mom–who is like my greatest superhero–I make myself fall in love with women. The smart ones. The strong ones. The happy ones. Then I tell myself that I need to be strong, too.

You know as they say, the greatest revenge in life is showing the world that you are happy. You have to decide for it. We can be broken once. We can be devastated, but after feeling the pain, we need to put our heads up by accepting things that we can never change.

The healing would always take time and sometimes it will break hell around you, but it will come. I promise.

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