Ok. That may be a little too harsh, but really, if you are that person who is suffering from “quarter life crisis,” you know this feeling very well.
We all do. We always feel like we are never as good as others or we haven’t achieved enough. My tip is this: do not listen to that! It is a lie.
After observing and talking to friends that felt the same way, I have realized this: you feel like a failure because:
1. You keep on comparing
You have a different skill set compared to others. That should be enough reason for you not to focus on others’ milestones because you can set your own.
You get stressed to do more and to achieve more because you think everybody should be somebody at some particular point.
Truth is: success becomes you when you are ready. You being successful also depends on your own definition of success. Do not look at others to monitor your progress because it would be like eyeing a size 10 when you are a size 8: it will never fit.
2. You think about acquiring
If this is about knowledge, then I am all about that, too. However, some think that being somebody means having material things in their possession or travelling to as many places as possible.
Again, go back to your own definition of “being on top.” When you pressure yourself into fitting in society’s image of success, you start demeaning your self and your own pace.
There is no general or standard measure for anything in this world, but we are sometimes firm to think that we can put things and people in boxes. We can’t. And if you try and think you want to jump in that box, that means you are not ready to believe in your own potential. Why? Because you are willing to be categorized under a label that might never actually fit you. Who knows, maybe if you just keep on doing as you please, you can set a new standard for “success.”
3. You don’t know what you want
Some say you need to plan ahead. Others say enjoy the moment. So, what do you do? Common choice is to side with what is convenient.
I say, set your own goals for whatever reason that is going to be beneficial to you and to people around you. Because if you do not set goals for yourself, you tend to just go with the flow. When you do not know what you are working for, you would really feel lost.
The thing is this: you need to set goals no matter how small they are. When you do finish them, you would feel more fulfilled.
4. You are afraid
How many chances have you let go because you think you are not ready? How will you get that next step in your career, in your personal growth, in your life if you keep on saying “this is not yet the time”?
Nobody is ever ready, but because we need to do things, sometimes, we just do. I have found a video from Prince Ea teaching how to kill fear so you can chage your life and you can watch it here.
This is what you need to do: stop thinking you can’t!
The first rule to being succesful—that is after defining it in your own terms—is believing in yourself.
When you think that the opportunity presented to you is something you are not familiar with, do not back down right away. Read, ask, learn, then try.
Everyone is trainable. Nobody is absorbed into a team knowing 100% what to do. But guess what, the persons who started as rookies being trained by many would end up being the leaders later on.
What does this mean?
Everybody is capable. You just have to say “yes” when a chance is given to you. Nevertheless, be careful not to mistake confidence with arrogance. The former is knowing you have limits but being decided to keep up with the challenges, the latter is thinking you are perfectly invincible.
Ultimately, what we are now is sometimes just a result of how we see ourselves. And our common mistake is regardless of what we have done, we always undervalue who we are.