I just published “Science Scholarship” of my story “The Way To “O””. http://my.w.tt/UiNb/eY0zpQvlcw
I know that this message is open for a thousand pair of eyes but I am certain that it will lay on the right vision of the person to whom this is written for: you. That even I name you not, my words will speak directly to you.
The one I speak with all day.
The one I am intimate any minute of the night:
You I dream with;
You I talk to;
You I look at the moon and stars with;
You who wish I was there;
You who wish I was OK;
You who shun the thunder;
That kind of intimacy where our souls mend our broken pieces brought by miles between us and the labels we no longer require.
I never had the courage to say things when you are with me but on the day that I first saw your photograph, it curved a smile on my lips and I started to be curious and to wonder on every minute detail about you: how your voice sounds, how you walk, how you smell, and what could your favorite basketball team be.
Others may say that it was spark, I say that it was meant to be.
My thought never raced that fast about anyone ever and when they said that people meet people for a purpose, I had a thought — actually hope — of what it could be.
I suddenly felt comfortable talking to you like everything you say is interesting. And at times when you are sick or out of reach, worry touches my thoughts. I worry not because I have the right to be but because I just know that I care about you. A lot.
Worrying is not a right. It is an emotion.
Fast track to that December when I realized you are the one, and from then until now you are everything that is wonderful in my world.
You do not know what you do to me, but you are that person who can make or break me, inspire or discourage me, keep me hanging without asking questions, and subversively say yes to whatever you opt to.
You impress me in ways you can never understand: your intelligence, your jokes, simply your existence. Know that no matter how much I try and compare, no one can ever be close to you. At least in my own standards of perfect affection and epitome of great love.
You are the eligible bachelor and you know I don’t lie about commendations for I never want to tarnish my taste. And in that praise covers my inner message that I did not choose you. Because love is never chosen, it is just felt.
And I felt happier with you. Any problem seems less of a problem when you laugh about them. You are everything that makes my world happier and I don’t know how to be without you anymore.
I did not choose you. I just felt you and I just wanted you.
So when people ask why you, honestly, I don’t know. It’s just you. I just love you. No reasons. It just is.
You are my eligible bachelor and in that title goes the subtle plea that I be your represent.
Remember that as I was,
I always will be,
It is going to be once in a lifetime that I am as old as my birth date, it may sound cheesy but there is a lot to be thankful for.
When I was 13, I made a bucket list of what I should have accomplished by 25 and hey I’m old but I’d like to say 25 is not the peak yet, rather, a beginning of adulting.
I have not accomplished some of my goals for I had been through rough times two years ago. Anxiety attacks here and there but hey no one is perfect.
I still feel like I have not amounted to anything yet but I am definitely not nothing.
To people reading this post and commenting so what? Yeah, so, why are you reading in the first place? LOL.
Anyway, who cares? People have different measurement of success. I bet somewhere people wish to be me like how they wish they were you. So my bucket list has gotten dust already but here we go:
1. I have finished college. As well as a Masters Degree and yeah, currently in the look out for a university for a PhD. Why? Because why not? As my friend said, PhD at 26? Who cares? Bam! A mom at 26? Who cares? Whoopsie. LOL.
2. No, I did not marry at 25 and will not marry this year but I fell in love deeply and is loved deeply as well (Insert a huge “awwww” here). Still single not willing to mingle. Let’s say I’m kind of, reserved. Pak ganern!
3. No, I have not composed a song but I sang a couple. In front of people. I sing at videokes now.
4. I haven’t published a book but I landed a stint at freelance journalism. Hey CrowdH News 🙂 You are awesome!
5. I haven’t been to MTV VJ Hunt, one of the reasons I took Mass Communication, but I host events and that’s kind of like almost the same thing.
6. No I haven’t been to Europe but I am planning to book a trip Asian first.
7. Yup, I have read tons of books and there are still a lot in my bag I haven’t opened yet since 2011.
8. I still haven’t gotten enough confidence in myself yet but I am getting there.
9. Finally! I got to finally maintain a blog, yey! And it will soon be profitable, too.
10. I realized that since life won’t give me apples, I will plant my own trees. But the main question that remains is… When will I cut my hair?
Sa mga nagmahal, nagtiwala, hindi nakalimot, never nang-iwan, apir! I love you.
Sa mga nagback stab, nainggit, nainsecure (meron gang kaiinsecurean?), nagselos, nagalit dahil sobrang ganda ko (char!), pasensya na po. I am not a tease. I’m just a reminder of what you will never become. Charrrr!!!!
Mas malaking I love you at thank you sa inyo. Because of your criticisms I pushed for the better version of me.
Like what I used to say, I don’t believe in being the best. I believe in being better. I am not gonna say more, baka iplagiarize mo pa e.
God, thank you.
Mom and dad, perfect genes. 🙂
Siblings, malalaki na kayo kaya nyo na yang mga assignment nyo.
Gwapings, ayiii ampogi mo po haha
I hope this turns out great.
I hope for more years to come.
Tara, kain. 🙂
The epitome of a perfect person.
But if you would be watching pageants and contestants would be asked to choose between beauty or brains, they would usually choose brains for the reason that beauty fades and intelligence is sexy.
That is ideal if we live in that kind of ideal world. Unfortunately, this is the life we have: prejudices and general beauty standards. We wish beauty were relevant but the relevance could only vary to some little degree. And of course, intelligence is measured in somehow non trivial matters: the foolish tends to be louder while the real Einsteins of the generation become smart shamed or tagged as elitists.
However, as much as people would wish for an intelligent child so they could be honor students, I would prefer I’d have kind children.
The Average Child
When I was a kid, I was always left behind: I had never been on top of my class though there was one thing I was the best at: reading.
In fact, my first memory is my parents teaching me how to read.
I could read fast. My reading ability at 4 was like that of a 7-year-old and as early as 10, I knew I wanted to be fluent in several languages so I started with English. At 11, my teachers were in awe at how eloquent I was. At 13, I was highly conversant in English that my verbal ability score in the language is always almost perfect.
Then again, I was never in the honors list but I could go on a head to head debate with my top notcher classmates and score in educational arguments. Why? Cause I was more wide read than they were.
Still, I was also lazy. I would get failing marks in most my subjects but given things I love, I produce good outputs: I write and one of my teachers told me that she likes the way I write and that in my words she sees more of talent than skill. That moment, I finally understood what I was for. That was a happy moment for someone like me who was bullied due to being fat. Well, I got back at them by saying, “E ano, maganda naman” (So what? I’m pretty).
Academically I was a mess but in other things, I was authority.
The willing child
Toss me a book, except academic books, and I was good. Back at 11, I preferred reading English stuff that my classmates began teasing me that I am, in Rizal’s words, a malansang isda (pungent fish) for I was apparently discriminating Filipinism. I wasn’t. Anyone who was open-minded enough, if there was anyone in my batch even that young, would understand that learning is growth and that development is not always a hostile act that pulls people away from their roots — that hostility is brought by the intent behind the actions. And for me, I just wanted to be a good speaker because no matter what, Filipino is in my roots. Filipino is me. And I had never been insecure about my nationality.
So, I continued what I do: read, speak, breath English and I improved a lot. Regardless of how eloquent I had been then, I know it didn’t chip off even a bit of me being a Filipino so I knew I was doing right.
The excelling child
My academic mishaps continued up to my high school days. I flunked every Math exam there was. I got low scores in English but I was the editor-in-chief of the school pub and I did not understand a bit about the technicalities of a newspaper. I was the essay writer, the programs host, the school’s broadcast journalist. I was winning quiz bees in English Literature, I bested representatives from Region IV-A when I became the champion extemporaneous speaker.
I was not smart academically but I was achieving momentous prices in the area I was good at: communication. I was lucky my school looked at my skills more than my ability to memorize history books.
And so I found my place. I knew what I wanted and I grew tired of people maligning my talents.
“The only thing you’re good at is English. Nothing else” became a household joke in school. My parents were happy at what I love and they were supportive. They never pushed me to become an honor student because I did not want to.
But people outside my family circle started talking at me and I told myself, I will show them my true potential.
From being a nobody, a flunk, an academic so-so, suddenly, I was The Full Academic Scholar, The Dean Lister, The Department Top One. I worked willingly hard enough that I got to a point my education was almost free: I was only paying $21 (P1K) per semester. Not because I was smart but because I chose to excel.
Four years after, I was the class valedictorian in my College Graduation. I was not smart. I had to work harder than the rest: my focus span is short I had to continuously remind myself that I was doing something, I had to do things ahead of the others so I stay within the same pace as them. It was hard. It was draining but it was all worth it.
I became one of the good ones not because I am intelligent. I am not and I will never be but because I chose to excel.
Success always starts with the decision to become one and follows suit after we have worked out our plans.
To people who say only the smart ones get the privilege, introduce me to them and I will prove them wrong.
What do you use on your face?
The usual question I get from people. This is not to boast or whatever but people commend that I have good skin: in their terms pimple free and smooth.
To bust the myth, I do get pimples but not a lot. Usually one here and there, but mostly within the hairline.
So what product do I use on my face? None.
I have tried using Ponds, Clean&Clear, Mary Kay, and Usana Sense.
Of course I have my favorite, but after a few days, I stopped using them for two reasons: first, I can’t stand the beauty routine and second, I think I am quite allergic to beauty creams.
Ponds: I got itchy skin after about a week.
Clean&Clear: I got oily skin after a couple of days.
Mary Kay: Tolerable up to a month but eventually my skin got itchy
Usana Sense: Good up to as long as I can remember but yeah, like with others I ended up getting itchy skin, too.
So what do I do to get rid of pimples?
1. No soap just water
Back when I was a teenager and most of my friends were being conscious and starting a beauty regimen, or they are getting zits, I was too lazy to maintain any, so I stuck to washing my face with just water.
Yup, after a long day at school, I go home to splash water on my face.
I was one of the few teens in my batch without pimples or oily skin all throughout my teenage years.
2. I drink plenty of water
Like more than 8 glasses a day.
Check my bag and you would find my notebook missing but not a bottle of water. Sometimes when I eat, I get to consume about a liter. Sometimes even more in one meal. Cons: I was often in the bathroom.
3. I sleep on time
8 hours of sleep is mandatory for me.
I never had a moment when I found it cool to be up until 3AM streaming whatever and then waking up at 6AM.
Not due to skin issues but because I cannot function the next day. Aside from that, the body needs sleep to detoxify, so lacking it would greatly affect how your skin looks.
4. Less chemicals on skin
Aside from the usual moisturizing lotion or UV protection creams I only use when I swim, I do not pay attention to any creams at all.
I think they help but not completely. Medical books I have read say that the nourishment should start from within. Aside that your DNA does a great deal to how you look, cell nourishment does more than topical creams. In short, whatever manifests outside the skin is caused by something underneath.
5. No vices
I don’t drink nor smoke.
Chemicals. Toxins. Do they affect your usual body processes? Definitely! (Remember no 4)
Did you know that if your liver is healthy it can actually produce Glutathione? Yes. Then you no longer need those injections or pills.
This is the usual dilemma of the working class: how to get to and from work. So the question is, how do we cope with the heavy rain and the flooding?
Here are five things to do:
1. Bring jelly shoes, boots, slippers, and shirt
I always carry with me two bags: one for my stuff and another one for my extra shoes.
I have a pair of jellies and a pair of slippers and extra shoes I can use at work. Plus, the one I am actually wearing as I go to work. In short I have four footwear with me everyday. Why?
I find it gross to stick with wet shoes for the whole day and I cannot afford to actually let my shoes soak in water for they will easily get worn out.
If I were a boy, I would bring extra shirt and change in the next stop I get to however, I’m a girl so I bring a hoodie or sweater. I wore one last night and it got wet. But not me directly.
2. Always have an umbrella
Rain or shine. Even when it is heavy. No explanations, just bring one. It is never cool to be all wet especially if you are going in a commute. You don’t want other people to get wet just because you stand or sit next to them. Aside that you could be a disturbance, it can get you sick.
3. Bring plastic
There is a ban, I know, but a paper bag cannot keep rain water from ruining your stuff.
I always bring four small pieces of plastic I use to put my shoes in and a huge one for my whole bag. I have pens, notebooks, and gadgets in there. I am never amenable to smudging any information.
4. Bring water and food
What is sure is there is gonna be huuuge traffic. Your usual one hour commute could be extended up to how many hours! That is true! Or worse, you may not be able to get on a ride as fast as you need to be.
People rush to whatever PUV that stops so chances are they are full thus, you may actually add another hour for your waiting time. You cannot afford to stop over a convenience store because the goal is not to be wet and to get home as soon.
5. Don’t be upset. Enjoy the rain and the flood
What? How can we do that when we are actually wet?
That is why you need to pay attention to numbers 1 to 4.
One reason that actually makes me stressed about all these rains is that I worry of soaking my clothes, shoes, and my bag. But if I have prepared extra and I know that I can secure them dry, hey, I could enjoy a bit of rain.
But the more acceptable justification is, if things are out of your control, just let them be and stop stressing yourself.