Why I am “a spinster at 25”

You’re 25, why not get married


Currently, this question is becoming a cliche and every time I hear this I would like to just either laugh it off or roll my eyes, if only it wouldn’t be deemed impolite.

So I am the “conservative,” the “man hater,” the “unattached,” the “no boyfriend since birth” (at least that’s what they think) or worse, which is evolving to be a familiar joke, “the cursed one in this generation to become a spinster.”

Yeah, I am a spinster at 25. I laugh it off but seriously, I get haunting thoughts of what ifs. But no. Of course, I would want to be married or be a mom or to pass on my genes but it is not the time yet.


First, my education

I grew up seeing how life could be so unfair to people without a degree. No matter how hard they worked, they get back limited benefits: limited opportunities, income, and food on the table. I didn’t want that.


So, during the time when some of my friends dream of having a boyfriend and settling down as early as possible, I was thinking way ahead by wanting a solid foundation for a career.

When I was 15, I thought that a college degree would mean a stable job therefore, a better financial standing. Of course, money is important to sustain a family. Even a handful of salt costs something!

So, I didn’t get into a relationship when I was a student because it is innate in me that when I do something, I focus solely on that. I don’t pay attention to anything else. It is not that I am choosy, it is just that I haven’t met someone I liked enough to fall for. Yes, FYI, you do not force love, it just happens.

And it was not that I didn’t want a relationship, maybe it was just I was too busy with graduating that I did not pay attention to falling in love. I was 15. That was only 5 years after I turned 10!

Second, preparation

Physically, mentally, and financially.

I want to be the independent woman, the good mom, the best wife. Couples are partners and women are supposed to be good in supporting their partners.

How would I be of best aid if I cannot hold myself together? I want that future partner to have extra reasons to be proud of having me around. That I am his partner and not just his wife.

Finally, I am certain that my education and my career won’t text me one morning and decide to break up with me.


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